Blog: And then the tower fell

The year-ahead reading that I pulled on the first days of January has been spot-fucking-on. Sometimes, literally. February was the Queen of Cups and, aside from the deep emotional waters that it heralded in my life during that month, I encountered rain the likes of which I have never seen out here in my deserty neck of the woods. Trying to get out of town for a trip, I was met with deluge as an atmospheric river poured down over Southern California. April was The Moon. There was beauty that month, but there was darkness and fear, and a really scary period.

As for June… June was to be The Tower. At first I didn’t mind, and tried to remain calm and positive about it, knowing that the future can change, and that sometimes the destruction that The Tower brings is not that big of a deal. My notes from the reading said: “upheaval, sudden change, destruction.” Came June, knowing that the previous month card had been accurate as fuck, I kept a good spirit but was bracing for a possible storm.

The first days of June passed and… nothing. Mid-June passed and there was no sudden change, except I have been working on a specific fear and have basically overcome it within this one month (I think and hope, haha!). I thought that maybe The Tower that came was the tower of pure enlightenment. June 21 and June 22 came and went and I thought, “phew, I must be safe now.” A little voice said, “but June is not over yet… just you wait.”

And then… BAM! I said a word to someone, asked a sentence, and the response I received not only was something that I was not expecting, but the ensuing conversation completely shattered a lot of my preconceived notions about my life. The direction I thought I was going, it didn’t actually exist. The progress I thought I had made? I didn’t matter. What I thought was wrong was not a big deal, what I thought was right was very, very wrong. My world has been turned upside down. Mind you, I’m not a victim here. There were things that I should have known that I didn’t, for one reason or another. But that’s one of the points of The Tower: it devastates so that the truth may be seen.

And that’s how my June tower came. From a word, a question. It wasn’t my exterior world that fell. It was my inner one. There were painful realizations to be made. But June is still not over, haha, and I hope not to be rewriting this post with another tower moment. In any event, you will find me here, walking around the smoldering pieces of what once I thought I knew.